last night, i cooked dinner for the three Uncle Cs and my daddy. and me, of course (Gee's dinners mostly consist of Chef Boyardee, green beans, and maybe fruit. don't judge me, it's easy and she likes it!). we had chicken fajita taco salad, so really the only thing i had to cook was the chicken, which took longer to cut up than it did to actually cook. womp. however, it got good reviews, and all three of the boys had seconds, so that's always a good sign! to go with the taco salad, i had planned to make some fresh guacamole. i bought three avocados, not even bothering to look at the sticker that read "RIPE WHEN SOFT". needless to say, all three of the avocados where not only not soft, but they were straight up hard. i spent 30 minutes trying to get the flesh out of those avocados while cooking the chicken and wiping Chef Boyardee sauce out of Gee's eyes. fun fun! not. the escapade did make me think about my Granny Annie, who passed away last October after battling breast cancer.
she absolutely loved avocados. i used to turn my nose up every time she mentioned them, but now i absolutely love guacamole. i have yet to try avocado in non-guacamole, but it's probably cool, too. anyways, my Granny Annie was also a lover of all things beautiful. paper, cards, writing, quotes, verses... and she loved sunflowers, too. the last time i saw her alive was the Thursday before she died. she lived right around the corner, so i put Gee in the stroller and walked over there, just to visit for awhile. by that time, she wasn't eating very much, but she had me put some strawberries and sugar in a bowl, and put in on the table to sit awhile. honestly, i found the task to be a bit tedious, because i figured that she wasn't going to eat them anyway, but i did it anyway. when i came back into the living room, both Granny Annie and Gee were asleep, Gee in Granny Annie's lap. i kick myself daily because i didn't take a picture; i take pictures of almost everything, yet i have not one picture of Gee and Granny Annie together. not one. i just have to be satisfied with memories of the two of them, such as when Gee was just a few weeks old. Granny Annie told me that i should put a blanket on the surface of the play pen, because it might be cold to Gee. seeing as the surface was fabric, i thought it unnecessary, but since she insisted, i did it anyway.
memories of Gee and i driving Granny Annie to her radiation treatments, as she shared with us family history between the chest-rattling cough caused by fluid building up around her lungs. memories of Granny Annie holding Gee while i ate, and her giving me her meal to take to my brothers because she couldn't eat it. though i saw her condition deteriorate before my eyes, i always figured i would have more time with her, that Gee would have more time with her, that she would have more time with Gee. but she didn't. i didn't. which is why her memory must be kept alive. i will make sure that Gee knows that she had a Granny Annie who adored her, who watched her grow for the four short months she had with her. i think about her every day, especially when trying to make guacamole. or when i see a sunflower. or when i stop in the store to admire something that i would buy just because it's something pretty. while she may not be physically present, i feel my Granny Annie's spirit all of the time. as i go to the Relay for Life tonight, it will quite frankly suck to see the luminary with her name on it say "In Memoriam Of" instead of "In Honor Of" as it did just a year ago. but instead of getting depressed about her death, i will choose to celebrate her life. i love you, Granny Annie, and miss you soooo much.
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| me, Gee (still in-utero), and Granny Annie, prepping me to waddle across the stage [May 8, 2010] :) |
and to think, this whole post originated from me trying to make some friggin' guacamole. :)
-love elle&gee-
