yeeeaaah, so i'm way super late on plenty of things. BUT, the important thing is that i'm finally getting around to posting! "better late than never", that's my motto...lol. anywho, we have a lot of "big things poppin'" right now, so prepare for a lot of reading. let's begin with...
WE'RE MOVING OUT!! last Friday, Gee, my parents and i went up to Fayetteville in search of living space and childcare, and got to check *both* of off my list! i did some internet research on both apartments and daycares, so i already had a number one preference for both. and after visiting both the complex and the daycare, i was pleased with both, and put down a deposit on both! so i'll be going back up in mid-July to sign my lease and fill out all of the paperwork for Gee to start daycare! aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya'll, excited isn't EVEN the word. finally, after 4 years in dorms and a sorority house, and 1 year at home, i get to live in an apartment! with my own room! and me & Gee not living on top of each other anymore! omgee...ya'll have no idea! anyway, enough about that [but did i mention that Gee will have her own ROOM!?]. on to...
1ST YEAR G*DAY!!! my babygirl is a baby, no more! as of today, June 10th, she is officially a ONE year old Toddler! can you believe it? i know i can't... it seems like just days ago that i was waddling into the Dr.'s office and being told that it was baby time! wow. time really does fly, as if i haven't been cliche enough today [lol]. however, i embrace the passage of time. some people mourn the days when their children were immobile and totally dependent on them. um, not me!! while yes, it was tiresome to keep tabs on a little one who loves to bang on the TV and put everything she sees in her mouth [except for the things that are actually meant for her to chew on!], but i don't have to hold her cup now. she can feed herself. when she gets to walking a bit better, i'll be relieved from hauling her heavy little self around [the doctor said she was only 18lbs8oz. but i don't believe it for a second...]. her personality and intuitiveness are amazing to observe; newborns and young infants are pretty boring, if you ask me. pretty to look at, yes. but still boring. so bring on toddlerhood, lil' mama. i'm pretty sure she's giving me sneak peeks of the Terrible Twos already, but as my mother loves to remind me, i'm only getting what i gave her! LOL, oh well! for the last update, let's....
PARTY! rather, partieS. Gee had her first 1st birthday party down here, under a pavilion in the park [basically]. it was a small, intimate affair, attended only by close family and friends [although one of her daycare buddies did stop by for a few minutes, which was nice]. we had my famous rainbow cupcakes [lol], and i made a large rainbow cupcake for Gee to eat/play in, which was hilarious to watch. not so hilarious to clean up, but still totally worth it. she got some great gifts, too. since i'm too lazy to list them or post pics here, check them out on Facebook. if we're not friends, shoot me a message so i can add you. i don't let people add me because there are some strange folks lurking on FB, nah'mean? anyway, we're having Gee's second 1st birthday party tomorrow in Little Rock, so that we can get out of the house, and so that our friends from the northern part of the state don't have to drive as far to celebrate with us. i'll do my best not to let a week pass before i tell ya'll about it. ;) until next time!
-love elle&BIGGIRL!gee-
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
5.13.2011
Annie and Avocados.
#BloggerBeTRIPPIN. just had to get that out of my system. :)
last night, i cooked dinner for the three Uncle Cs and my daddy. and me, of course (Gee's dinners mostly consist of Chef Boyardee, green beans, and maybe fruit. don't judge me, it's easy and she likes it!). we had chicken fajita taco salad, so really the only thing i had to cook was the chicken, which took longer to cut up than it did to actually cook. womp. however, it got good reviews, and all three of the boys had seconds, so that's always a good sign! to go with the taco salad, i had planned to make some fresh guacamole. i bought three avocados, not even bothering to look at the sticker that read "RIPE WHEN SOFT". needless to say, all three of the avocados where not only not soft, but they were straight up hard. i spent 30 minutes trying to get the flesh out of those avocados while cooking the chicken and wiping Chef Boyardee sauce out of Gee's eyes. fun fun! not. the escapade did make me think about my Granny Annie, who passed away last October after battling breast cancer.
she absolutely loved avocados. i used to turn my nose up every time she mentioned them, but now i absolutely love guacamole. i have yet to try avocado in non-guacamole, but it's probably cool, too. anyways, my Granny Annie was also a lover of all things beautiful. paper, cards, writing, quotes, verses... and she loved sunflowers, too. the last time i saw her alive was the Thursday before she died. she lived right around the corner, so i put Gee in the stroller and walked over there, just to visit for awhile. by that time, she wasn't eating very much, but she had me put some strawberries and sugar in a bowl, and put in on the table to sit awhile. honestly, i found the task to be a bit tedious, because i figured that she wasn't going to eat them anyway, but i did it anyway. when i came back into the living room, both Granny Annie and Gee were asleep, Gee in Granny Annie's lap. i kick myself daily because i didn't take a picture; i take pictures of almost everything, yet i have not one picture of Gee and Granny Annie together. not one. i just have to be satisfied with memories of the two of them, such as when Gee was just a few weeks old. Granny Annie told me that i should put a blanket on the surface of the play pen, because it might be cold to Gee. seeing as the surface was fabric, i thought it unnecessary, but since she insisted, i did it anyway.
memories of Gee and i driving Granny Annie to her radiation treatments, as she shared with us family history between the chest-rattling cough caused by fluid building up around her lungs. memories of Granny Annie holding Gee while i ate, and her giving me her meal to take to my brothers because she couldn't eat it. though i saw her condition deteriorate before my eyes, i always figured i would have more time with her, that Gee would have more time with her, that she would have more time with Gee. but she didn't. i didn't. which is why her memory must be kept alive. i will make sure that Gee knows that she had a Granny Annie who adored her, who watched her grow for the four short months she had with her. i think about her every day, especially when trying to make guacamole. or when i see a sunflower. or when i stop in the store to admire something that i would buy just because it's something pretty. while she may not be physically present, i feel my Granny Annie's spirit all of the time. as i go to the Relay for Life tonight, it will quite frankly suck to see the luminary with her name on it say "In Memoriam Of" instead of "In Honor Of" as it did just a year ago. but instead of getting depressed about her death, i will choose to celebrate her life. i love you, Granny Annie, and miss you soooo much.
and to think, this whole post originated from me trying to make some friggin' guacamole. :)
-love elle&gee-
last night, i cooked dinner for the three Uncle Cs and my daddy. and me, of course (Gee's dinners mostly consist of Chef Boyardee, green beans, and maybe fruit. don't judge me, it's easy and she likes it!). we had chicken fajita taco salad, so really the only thing i had to cook was the chicken, which took longer to cut up than it did to actually cook. womp. however, it got good reviews, and all three of the boys had seconds, so that's always a good sign! to go with the taco salad, i had planned to make some fresh guacamole. i bought three avocados, not even bothering to look at the sticker that read "RIPE WHEN SOFT". needless to say, all three of the avocados where not only not soft, but they were straight up hard. i spent 30 minutes trying to get the flesh out of those avocados while cooking the chicken and wiping Chef Boyardee sauce out of Gee's eyes. fun fun! not. the escapade did make me think about my Granny Annie, who passed away last October after battling breast cancer.
she absolutely loved avocados. i used to turn my nose up every time she mentioned them, but now i absolutely love guacamole. i have yet to try avocado in non-guacamole, but it's probably cool, too. anyways, my Granny Annie was also a lover of all things beautiful. paper, cards, writing, quotes, verses... and she loved sunflowers, too. the last time i saw her alive was the Thursday before she died. she lived right around the corner, so i put Gee in the stroller and walked over there, just to visit for awhile. by that time, she wasn't eating very much, but she had me put some strawberries and sugar in a bowl, and put in on the table to sit awhile. honestly, i found the task to be a bit tedious, because i figured that she wasn't going to eat them anyway, but i did it anyway. when i came back into the living room, both Granny Annie and Gee were asleep, Gee in Granny Annie's lap. i kick myself daily because i didn't take a picture; i take pictures of almost everything, yet i have not one picture of Gee and Granny Annie together. not one. i just have to be satisfied with memories of the two of them, such as when Gee was just a few weeks old. Granny Annie told me that i should put a blanket on the surface of the play pen, because it might be cold to Gee. seeing as the surface was fabric, i thought it unnecessary, but since she insisted, i did it anyway.
memories of Gee and i driving Granny Annie to her radiation treatments, as she shared with us family history between the chest-rattling cough caused by fluid building up around her lungs. memories of Granny Annie holding Gee while i ate, and her giving me her meal to take to my brothers because she couldn't eat it. though i saw her condition deteriorate before my eyes, i always figured i would have more time with her, that Gee would have more time with her, that she would have more time with Gee. but she didn't. i didn't. which is why her memory must be kept alive. i will make sure that Gee knows that she had a Granny Annie who adored her, who watched her grow for the four short months she had with her. i think about her every day, especially when trying to make guacamole. or when i see a sunflower. or when i stop in the store to admire something that i would buy just because it's something pretty. while she may not be physically present, i feel my Granny Annie's spirit all of the time. as i go to the Relay for Life tonight, it will quite frankly suck to see the luminary with her name on it say "In Memoriam Of" instead of "In Honor Of" as it did just a year ago. but instead of getting depressed about her death, i will choose to celebrate her life. i love you, Granny Annie, and miss you soooo much.
 |
| me, Gee (still in-utero), and Granny Annie, prepping me to waddle across the stage [May 8, 2010] :) |
and to think, this whole post originated from me trying to make some friggin' guacamole. :)
-love elle&gee-
5.08.2011
our village.
"it takes a village to raise a child." -African proverb
for part two of a reflection on my first mother's day, the quote above came to mind. i was browsing through today's Facebook shoutouts, which ranged from the simple "Happy Mother's Day!" to the lengthy "I just wanna take this time to thank my mama Dorothy Ray Sugar Pie Williams Jones Johnson who is responsible for every success and accomplishment in my life. I LOVE YOU MAMA! Oh yeah, and shoutout to grandma 'nem. Love ya'll too." LOL. what struck me though, as it does every year, were the many stati that made sure to recognize the single mothers who are "doing it alone". i thought about all of the single mothers i know, regardless of age, and i know that i can only speak for myself, but i can tell you that throughout this past [almost] year of raising my daughter, i have NOT been alone. am i married? definitely not. not even close. no boyfriend, beau, nothing. however, Gee and i are surrounded by her village: family, friends, mentors, associates... her village reaches across city, county, and state lines. although i plan on going to grad school five hours away from my parents and biological family, we have another family waiting for us when we get there. there may be a few exceptions, but i don't really think that any of us single mothers truly "do it alone". our support systems just don't begin with a significant other. they begin with our own mothers, and fathers, then reach out to our aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, grandparents, friends, and end with anyone we know who cares about our wellbeing and the wellbeing of our children. of course, i would love to eventually have a significant other to serve as a strong example of a father figure to my daughter. however, for now, my own father is doing an amazing job of filling that role. i suspect he'll continue to do so, even when [IF] that significant other comes into play. on this, my first mother's day, i give thanks to the Lord for everyone in Gee's village. because of you all, i am not doing it alone, nor will i ever have to. :)
by the way, i had a fab mother's day. i didn't do anything extravagant; i did receive some workout gear from the parentals. gotta love their support of my new workout plan :) i helped my daddy finish dinner prep and helped him clean the kitchen - after i woke up from my impromptu nap with Gee. my daddy and i worked as a team so that my mommy could hang out and relax in the bed: a luxury for a mother to three "energetic" [to put it nicely] boys plus a grown daughter [who can, admittedly, act like a spoiled brat sometimes...sorry :)]. my punkin went to bed relatively early, and as i write this, i'm enjoying a moderately-sized serving of Blue Bell's mint chocolate chip ice cream... it's the simple things that make a day special. i hope any other mothers reading this had a simply special mother's day, as well! until next time... :)
-love elle&gee-
for part two of a reflection on my first mother's day, the quote above came to mind. i was browsing through today's Facebook shoutouts, which ranged from the simple "Happy Mother's Day!" to the lengthy "I just wanna take this time to thank my mama Dorothy Ray Sugar Pie Williams Jones Johnson who is responsible for every success and accomplishment in my life. I LOVE YOU MAMA! Oh yeah, and shoutout to grandma 'nem. Love ya'll too." LOL. what struck me though, as it does every year, were the many stati that made sure to recognize the single mothers who are "doing it alone". i thought about all of the single mothers i know, regardless of age, and i know that i can only speak for myself, but i can tell you that throughout this past [almost] year of raising my daughter, i have NOT been alone. am i married? definitely not. not even close. no boyfriend, beau, nothing. however, Gee and i are surrounded by her village: family, friends, mentors, associates... her village reaches across city, county, and state lines. although i plan on going to grad school five hours away from my parents and biological family, we have another family waiting for us when we get there. there may be a few exceptions, but i don't really think that any of us single mothers truly "do it alone". our support systems just don't begin with a significant other. they begin with our own mothers, and fathers, then reach out to our aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, grandparents, friends, and end with anyone we know who cares about our wellbeing and the wellbeing of our children. of course, i would love to eventually have a significant other to serve as a strong example of a father figure to my daughter. however, for now, my own father is doing an amazing job of filling that role. i suspect he'll continue to do so, even when [IF] that significant other comes into play. on this, my first mother's day, i give thanks to the Lord for everyone in Gee's village. because of you all, i am not doing it alone, nor will i ever have to. :)
by the way, i had a fab mother's day. i didn't do anything extravagant; i did receive some workout gear from the parentals. gotta love their support of my new workout plan :) i helped my daddy finish dinner prep and helped him clean the kitchen - after i woke up from my impromptu nap with Gee. my daddy and i worked as a team so that my mommy could hang out and relax in the bed: a luxury for a mother to three "energetic" [to put it nicely] boys plus a grown daughter [who can, admittedly, act like a spoiled brat sometimes...sorry :)]. my punkin went to bed relatively early, and as i write this, i'm enjoying a moderately-sized serving of Blue Bell's mint chocolate chip ice cream... it's the simple things that make a day special. i hope any other mothers reading this had a simply special mother's day, as well! until next time... :)
-love elle&gee-
5.07.2011
"mamaaa, you know i love yooouuu" -BoysIIMen
i remember "back in the day" when my sister and i had the "Soul Food" movie soundtrack on cassette (yes, i'm old enough to remember cassette tapes!); this is the only song i ever listened to. i would hit the rewind button over and over again until i fell asleep, committing this song to my memory and my heart. i don't know that i really *felt* the lyrics back then. as a matter of fact, i know i didn't. but as i approach my first mother's day, i totally get it.
you taught me everything, and everything you've given me, i'll always keep it inside; you are the driving force in my life, oh yeah...
i was going to break down how i can relate to every single lyric of this song, but i can't, because i'd be writing until Mother's Day 2012. just click on the words above to read all of the lyrics; they'll tell you how i feel. without my mama, there's no way i'd be able to be such a [hopefully] great mommy to my G*Baby. i remember making that phone call to her, all the potential scenarios running through my head: she'll disown me, she'll scream at me, she'll curse me out [even though she doesn't curse], she won't say anything, i'll never be able to come home again, i'll have to figure out this motherhood thing all by myself... but what did my mother do? pray and take action. that's probably one of the most important lessons i've learned from her: when facing a tough problem, pray first, then take action steps to solve it. crazy that it takes moving back home AFTER college to learn the most important life lesson of all...
although i'm more than ready to move OUT of her house [more on that later...lol], i'll be forever grateful that she let me back in while i adjusted to motherhood and sorted myself out this past year. of course, everyone with a great mom thinks their mom is the best, which is true for them. what's true for me is that my mother, S.J.W., is THE best mother in the ENTIRE history of mothers, hands down bar none, and i love Love LOVE her. love her. and in case you didn't get it the first three times, I LOVE MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy mother's day, madre. :)
[Mother's Day, Pt. 2 tomorrow: my thoughts on my 1st mother's day as a MOTHER! woot woot!]
-love always, a very loving elle- :)
5.04.2011
reflection/confession
written 11/11/10:
"finished reading 'Finding Fish' by Antwone Quenton Fisher today. amazing story of an amazing life. makes me realize how cushiony my life is; IDK why i can't get it together. if this man, who should (according to statistics) be rotting in jail right now, can overcome his obstacles - which were, like, Mt. Kilimanjaro-sized - why can't i hop over my little baby ant mound-sized issues? it's like i just keep throwing myself in the mound and lettings those annoying little ants keep biting me. it stings, but not enough for me to get up and move." -LW
yeah, i wrote that. 6 months ago. why? because although i walked across the stage May 8, 2010, i wasn't finished. i had yet to even start on my senior paper. yes, one paper standing in the way of me and the MAJOR "piece of paper". is it finished now? yes. will i have a degree? yes. will it have "2010" on it? no, but does that matter? heck no. why? because the point is, I. Will. Have. A. Degree. is this mildly embarrassing? sure it is. i asked myself a million times how i could let one paper take me over a year to finish. answer: i wasn't ready to get up out of the ant mound yet. i found myself getting entirely too comfortable in this little town of mine. no rent to pay, no bills, easy job...the life, right? wrong. i had to remember who i was at the core - an overachieving, non-settling, get-up-and-goer who HATED life at home and who couldn't WAIT to get away - and that woman was slapping me upside the head constantly, screaming "Get It TOGETHER and Get Up OUTTA This Joint!!" when i finally got tired of her screaming and slapping, i got myself up out of the ant mound and picked off all of those little ants one by one: self-doubt, fear, lack of courage, laziness, sluggishness... away they all went as i made myself conquer that paper.
now, i'm [mostly] ant-free, and my degree will be in the mail this summer. not only that, but my application for grad school is completed and turned in. not only that, but i just got back yesterday from an interview for a graduate assistantship! i thought it was too late and that i'd be taking out student loans for the first time ever in life. however, as my amazing sister told me: "when people are meant to go places, they can't stay in our small town for very long, and you were meant to go places." talk about a triple-shot of confidence-boosting juice right there; love that girl! point is, she's right. i was meant to go places, and to those places i shall go. rather we, because where i go, Gee goes, as i have fervently stated before. *does cabbage patch* Go Lauren, Go Lauren. LOL. gotta hype myself up sometimes!
now, it's time to play the waiting game; pray, pray, and after you get finished, pray again for me, people! i need & appreciate it more than you know :)
-love a *NERVOUS* elle
"finished reading 'Finding Fish' by Antwone Quenton Fisher today. amazing story of an amazing life. makes me realize how cushiony my life is; IDK why i can't get it together. if this man, who should (according to statistics) be rotting in jail right now, can overcome his obstacles - which were, like, Mt. Kilimanjaro-sized - why can't i hop over my little baby ant mound-sized issues? it's like i just keep throwing myself in the mound and lettings those annoying little ants keep biting me. it stings, but not enough for me to get up and move." -LW
yeah, i wrote that. 6 months ago. why? because although i walked across the stage May 8, 2010, i wasn't finished. i had yet to even start on my senior paper. yes, one paper standing in the way of me and the MAJOR "piece of paper". is it finished now? yes. will i have a degree? yes. will it have "2010" on it? no, but does that matter? heck no. why? because the point is, I. Will. Have. A. Degree. is this mildly embarrassing? sure it is. i asked myself a million times how i could let one paper take me over a year to finish. answer: i wasn't ready to get up out of the ant mound yet. i found myself getting entirely too comfortable in this little town of mine. no rent to pay, no bills, easy job...the life, right? wrong. i had to remember who i was at the core - an overachieving, non-settling, get-up-and-goer who HATED life at home and who couldn't WAIT to get away - and that woman was slapping me upside the head constantly, screaming "Get It TOGETHER and Get Up OUTTA This Joint!!" when i finally got tired of her screaming and slapping, i got myself up out of the ant mound and picked off all of those little ants one by one: self-doubt, fear, lack of courage, laziness, sluggishness... away they all went as i made myself conquer that paper.
now, i'm [mostly] ant-free, and my degree will be in the mail this summer. not only that, but my application for grad school is completed and turned in. not only that, but i just got back yesterday from an interview for a graduate assistantship! i thought it was too late and that i'd be taking out student loans for the first time ever in life. however, as my amazing sister told me: "when people are meant to go places, they can't stay in our small town for very long, and you were meant to go places." talk about a triple-shot of confidence-boosting juice right there; love that girl! point is, she's right. i was meant to go places, and to those places i shall go. rather we, because where i go, Gee goes, as i have fervently stated before. *does cabbage patch* Go Lauren, Go Lauren. LOL. gotta hype myself up sometimes!
now, it's time to play the waiting game; pray, pray, and after you get finished, pray again for me, people! i need & appreciate it more than you know :)
-love a *NERVOUS* elle
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