see, what had happened was...

...well, a lot happened, actually. lol. we moved [and i am HUGELY happy not to be living with my parents anymore; not sure if Gee feels the same...], Gee started at her new daycare on the 1st of this month [and she's loving it!], i started my graduate assistantship last Monday, and finished my first week of grad school yesterday! WE SURVIVED!! :D when we first moved, the biggest adjustment was not having anyone right there to distract Gee while i tried to get things done around the house, like cook or do laundry. i didn't have her on a good bedtime schedule at all, and we just woke up whenever. i had a whole week with Gee before she started daycare, and i have to say, i suck as a stay at home mom! she would wake up from her nap, and we'd look at each other like "now what?" we don't have cable [then, because it hadn't been installed yet; now, by choice], and i didn't have any movies at the time, so i'm not really sure what we did that week...but we made it somehow. then, she started daycare, so i figured since i had two more weeks until i started work, i would get all kinds of unpacking and organizing done. haaaaaaaaaaa! more like a lot of laying in the bed! the majority of cleaning and organizing i did was done while my security system was being installed, because i would've felt bad for sitting around while the guy was working. but, hey, as long as it got done, it really doesn't matter when or why, right?

the day i decided to put Gee on a set schedule was the day i went over to A & G2's house. G2 has a set 7:30 bedtime, and A told me how if nothing else was certain, G2's bedtime was. hello, bright flashing lightbulb! the next night, Gee was in bed at 8pm. she cried and hollered, but i left her in there, and we've had a good schedule ever since. she only goes to bed later on Mondays [i have a night class and she stays with one of my LSs until i get out] and Wednesdays when we go to church. i'm really not sure why i thought it was going to be hard, but it wasn't. *fist pump* lol.

as for me, i am now officially a person who goes to bed early. seeing as how i was a creature of the night in my former life [pre-Gee], this tickles me immensely. i was trying to read an article for class last night, and started falling asleep at 10pm!! granted, i don't yet have a computer desk or chair, so i was in one of my recliners, which might as well be my bed. but still... we get up at 6:30 every morning, so not only does Gee have a schedule, but apparently so do i. up at 6:30am, bed no later than 10:30pm. the many ways motherhood changes you never cease to amaze me...

and yes, the first week of class went well. i'm only in 6 hours this semester, one class on Monday and the other on Wednesday. i never knew class introductions could take 1.5 hours before grad school....LOL. but anyway, the semester promises to be challenging, but i'm ready to take it on. on that note, i suppose i should get back to the article i fell asleep on, now that i'm in a computer chair and not a recliner. it should go much better this time... :)

toodles! *elle&gee*

PS: my baby can talk! she now says mama, nana, dah [uncle], moh [milk], moh/goo moh [good morning], hi/hey, bye-bye, and up! come on, sentences! :D

"it's been a long time, i shouldn't have left you [left you]..."

"...without a dope beat to step to."

lol. it's been almost a month since the last post? just sad...i was doing pretty well, too! ah, c'est la vie. i won't promise regularity, but as always, i'll do my best to be more regular. in posting, that is, not as in...never mind. ANYWHO!! i really despise the long catch-up posts that i used to do; they're so tedious and i always feel guilty if i don't include every detail, so i won't do those anymore. if you'd like to catch up with what we've been doing lately, find us on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. now that that's out of the way, on to today's topic...

it's not easy being a mommy. especially a young mommy and/or mommy with no husband/boyfriend/partner/boo-thang/person-besides-your-family-and-friends-to-be-there-with-and-for-you-on-a-regular-basis. ask me how i know? well sure, i've been living with my parents ever since Gabriela was born, and yes, they've been awesome BEYOND the highest levels of awesomeness. but i'm about to be 5 hours away with them. in my own place. with G. just the two of us. so slowly but surely, i've been trying to wean myself off of their assistance. things like putting the car seat in or carrying the playpen around, which my daddy used to do, i insist that i do instead, because there won't be a man around to help on a regular basis when we move. i feel the urgent need to drill that into my head and get used to it before it becomes my reality. and talk about scaaaared??? who wouldn't be? HECK yes i'm scared. and worried that i won't adjust to truly being a single parent and student and living on my own. however, that's where the power of "faking it til you're making it" comes in. i had to do it when i first cut my hair and went natural three years ago. i HATED it for 2 months b/c i thought i looked like a boy, but i put my big hoops in, a little makeup on and acted like i was the just-about-bald headed queen of the world. until i believed it. and then i was the not-as-bald-headed queen of a small area. lol. but i'll be looking back on that queen and drawing on the confidence she exuded. i'll be the just-about-bald headed queen of MY world, where G is the junior queen-in-training and WE are unstoppable. i'll do my best to ask for help [i'm getting better about that], and will *always* offer my help to those in similar situations or who could benefit from my experiences. just because you're not always sure of what you're doing doesn't mean you can't help others along the way to finding your footing! too many people feel like they need to "get themselves together" before they can help anyone else. a lot of times, it's good for others to see that you have struggles, because they then no longer feel like they're trying to catch up with/learn from a perfect prototype. none of us are perfect. we all struggle. the least you can do is help someone who's struggling a little more than you are. i didn't really mean to go off on that tangent, but i bet somebody, somewhere out there needed to read that. so there it is! 

but back to the young moms: i don't normally say this, but we gotta stick together. not in that we must blindly follow every leader who was once a single mommy [like some people do for their particular race, and that goes for all races]. i'm saying that when we can, we need to help each other out! i'm always down to give what little advice i can to others, whether their child is just a few months younger or still in the womb. or sometimes, a year or so older. realize, ya'll, that just because we're young and haven't been mothers that long, we still have valuable information to offer to others. i've made a great friend who i may not have been as close with if we weren't both mothers. i can talk to her about things that i may not necessarily talk to with my other friends, simply because i know she can relate. i'm not saying you have to be BFFs with every Facebook friend that pops up pregnant. i wouldn't do that. it's as simple as giving an encouraging word during her pregnancy, offering assistance or baby clothes/supplies, whatever. small things really do make a difference. i don't always respond, but it warms my heart when people comment on pictures of G and compliment my mothering skills. little things. if you can, offer to keep another mommy's baby so that she can go grocery shopping or to the mall w/o worrying about changing a diaper. yuck, i'm rambling...but i think ya'll get the point. so i'll stop. if one person takes one thing from this post and applies it to real life, i'll be happy. :)

and i'll probably post again later today [or in like 5 minutes] as a treat/apology for staying away so long! you're welcome. hehe. until next time!

-love elle&gee-

PS: please excuse any typos. too lazy to go check!

"back it up and dump it..."

LOL @ the title, right? i won't even post the link to that song, because i'm pretty sure you're already singing it to yourself...nasty. :p

on a more serious note: ever wish you had a remote control for your life with a big, huge PAUSE button smack-dab in the middle of it? definitely wishing for that right now. what with getting ready to move, preparing to teach for my church's Vacation Bible School, and being mommy to the greatest baby ever, as well as trying to get my mind ready for GRAD SCHOOL, my head is starting to spin, to say the least. so in an effort to alleviate some of the spinnage, i'm pretty much just going to do a mind dump. right here. right now. ready? me either. but let's go...

last year on father's day, i wished my daddy a happy one [of course], but i also wished one to the single mothers who also play the father's role in their child[ren]'s lives. a year later, i say "scratch that". i know i, for one, am no one's father. as i am a woman [clearly: i gave birth, hello!], it is anatomically impossible for me to be a father, as a father is male. i also realized that single mothers aren't fathers, because fathers [talking about present, good or trying-to-be good fathers and father figures only] are supposed to be true examples of a real man who takes on the responsibilities of a father because he knows that it's the right thing to do. i can't be the epitome of the type of man i want my daughter to be with, because i'm not a man. however, my daddy can and does that for her. my granpda can and does that for her. brothers at the church can and do that for her. hopefully, my brothers will be able to do that for her. not me. all i can do is point out these fine examples and pray that she takes them to heart. [happy father's day daddy & Old Ben Ivery!]

i'm scared that i may not be ready. ready for graduate-level coursework. ready for independent living with just me and Gabriela. ready for the "real world". what if i got it together to get in to grad school, only to fall apart once i start? and yes, i'm always praying, but self-doubt is a slick sucker that isn't so easily expelled from my brain. just gotta keep telling myself: "i can do this. i GOT this. i will do this. i HAVE to do this." and eventually, i'll believe that i can do it. then i'll just do it. then it will be done. speaking it into existence!!

a week late, but i can't say enough how blessed my daughter is. me too, of course, but do ya'll know that with all of her birthday gifts, she has the full summer wardrobe that i was just beginning to wonder how i would provide? i mean, anything i buy for her from now on will be in preparation for fall/winter! tell me God isn't great, and i'll instruct you to read every post in this blog, re-read this paragraph, and you'll be forced to change  your mind...

i think that's all of the dumping i have to do for today. hopefully we'll see some more posting before next week, but right now i'm on the YOU of A campus, in a room on the third floor of a dorm with no elevators, preparing for a week of job shadowing to get an idea of my upcoming Graduate Assistant responsibilities. did i mention that i was on the THIRD floor of a DORM with NO ELEVATORS!?!? someone's going to be losing some weight this week...LOL. and how you know it's been FOREVER [like, three years] since i've lived in a dorm? i forgot bedding! i had to go buy some from good ole Wally World. must've thought i was staying in a hotel; one look in the shower snapped me back to reality! anywho, enough about the mundane activities of my day. except for this: i'm here WITHOUT my Punkin!!! so it'll be interesting to see how we BOTH act during this week...mmk, bye bye now!

-love always, elle&gee-