G*DAY and rainbows

changed the name back. idk, something just didn't seem right about the new one...it may change again. but more importantly, the 9-month G*DAY has come and gone. whoa!! my pumpkin (as i've begun calling her lately, for whatever reason) has one tooth and one on the way; she can walk with assistance; eats a few finger foods; and has the hugest baby afro (as evidenced by the picture in the second-to-last post). she is also becoming more affectionate. i love the way she'll hold my face with her little long-fingered hands, even if she does it as a prelude to yanking out my hair. i love how, after playing in her playpen for a while, she'll look at me with those huge brown eyes as if to say "mommy, you already know i'm ready to get out of here. save me the trouble of whining and come get me please!" which i do. i absolutely ADORE the grin i get when i come pick her up from daycare. mommyhood = love. total, unconditional, phenomenal love. YES!

one of my Facebook friends had a status posted one day that sums up life perfectly: "Why do we feel pain? We feel it 'cause it has a place on Earth, just as JOY does, and JOY always comes in the morning; it's just a matter of letting it come in..." when i found out i was pregnant, i thought the pain would never go away. the pain of disappointing and hurting those around me, the pain of Gee's rejection by the donor of half of her DNA, the pain of plans that would never come to fruition. but then, Gee came into my world and brought the morning and JOY along with her. instead of seeing her as the result of pain, i see her as a source of JOY and light in my life. i can't let myself circle the drain or let pain take over, because she needs me. and really, i need her just as much, to remind me that there is always JOY to be had, no matter how great the pain is. as Katy Perry says in my anthem "FIREWORK": "if you only knew what the future holds/after the hurricane, comes a rainbow". and baby Gee is my rainbow. love you babygirl :)

-love *elle&gee*

PS: that "Day in the Life" is still coming...just had to get this out into cyberspace first :)