see, what had happened was...

...well, a lot happened, actually. lol. we moved [and i am HUGELY happy not to be living with my parents anymore; not sure if Gee feels the same...], Gee started at her new daycare on the 1st of this month [and she's loving it!], i started my graduate assistantship last Monday, and finished my first week of grad school yesterday! WE SURVIVED!! :D when we first moved, the biggest adjustment was not having anyone right there to distract Gee while i tried to get things done around the house, like cook or do laundry. i didn't have her on a good bedtime schedule at all, and we just woke up whenever. i had a whole week with Gee before she started daycare, and i have to say, i suck as a stay at home mom! she would wake up from her nap, and we'd look at each other like "now what?" we don't have cable [then, because it hadn't been installed yet; now, by choice], and i didn't have any movies at the time, so i'm not really sure what we did that week...but we made it somehow. then, she started daycare, so i figured since i had two more weeks until i started work, i would get all kinds of unpacking and organizing done. haaaaaaaaaaa! more like a lot of laying in the bed! the majority of cleaning and organizing i did was done while my security system was being installed, because i would've felt bad for sitting around while the guy was working. but, hey, as long as it got done, it really doesn't matter when or why, right?

the day i decided to put Gee on a set schedule was the day i went over to A & G2's house. G2 has a set 7:30 bedtime, and A told me how if nothing else was certain, G2's bedtime was. hello, bright flashing lightbulb! the next night, Gee was in bed at 8pm. she cried and hollered, but i left her in there, and we've had a good schedule ever since. she only goes to bed later on Mondays [i have a night class and she stays with one of my LSs until i get out] and Wednesdays when we go to church. i'm really not sure why i thought it was going to be hard, but it wasn't. *fist pump* lol.

as for me, i am now officially a person who goes to bed early. seeing as how i was a creature of the night in my former life [pre-Gee], this tickles me immensely. i was trying to read an article for class last night, and started falling asleep at 10pm!! granted, i don't yet have a computer desk or chair, so i was in one of my recliners, which might as well be my bed. but still... we get up at 6:30 every morning, so not only does Gee have a schedule, but apparently so do i. up at 6:30am, bed no later than 10:30pm. the many ways motherhood changes you never cease to amaze me...

and yes, the first week of class went well. i'm only in 6 hours this semester, one class on Monday and the other on Wednesday. i never knew class introductions could take 1.5 hours before grad school....LOL. but anyway, the semester promises to be challenging, but i'm ready to take it on. on that note, i suppose i should get back to the article i fell asleep on, now that i'm in a computer chair and not a recliner. it should go much better this time... :)

toodles! *elle&gee*

PS: my baby can talk! she now says mama, nana, dah [uncle], moh [milk], moh/goo moh [good morning], hi/hey, bye-bye, and up! come on, sentences! :D

reflection/confession

written 11/11/10:

"finished reading 'Finding Fish' by Antwone Quenton Fisher today. amazing story of an amazing life. makes me realize how cushiony my life is; IDK why i can't get it together. if this man, who should (according to statistics) be rotting in jail right now, can overcome his obstacles - which were, like, Mt. Kilimanjaro-sized - why can't i hop over my little baby ant mound-sized issues? it's like i just keep throwing myself in the mound and lettings those annoying little ants keep biting me. it stings, but not enough for me to get up and move." -LW

yeah, i wrote that. 6 months ago. why? because although i walked across the stage May 8, 2010, i wasn't finished. i had yet to even start on my senior paper. yes, one paper standing in the way of me and the MAJOR "piece of paper". is it finished now? yes. will i have a degree? yes. will it have "2010" on it? no, but does that matter? heck no. why? because the point is, I. Will. Have. A. Degree. is this mildly embarrassing? sure it is. i asked myself a million times how i could let one paper take me over a year to finish. answer: i wasn't ready to get up out of the ant mound yet. i found myself getting entirely too comfortable in this little town of mine. no rent to pay, no bills, easy job...the life, right? wrong. i had to remember who i was at the core - an overachieving, non-settling, get-up-and-goer who HATED life at home and who couldn't WAIT to get away - and that woman was slapping me upside the head constantly, screaming "Get It TOGETHER and Get Up OUTTA This Joint!!" when i finally got tired of her screaming and slapping, i got myself up out of the ant mound and picked off all of those little ants one by one: self-doubt, fear, lack of courage, laziness, sluggishness... away they all went as i made myself conquer that paper.

now, i'm [mostly] ant-free, and my degree will be in the mail this summer. not only that, but my application for grad school is completed and turned in. not only that, but i just got back yesterday from an interview for a graduate assistantship! i thought it was too late and that i'd be taking out student loans for the first time ever in life. however, as my amazing sister told me: "when people are meant to go places, they can't stay in our small town for very long, and you were meant to go places." talk about a triple-shot of confidence-boosting juice right there; love that girl! point is, she's right. i was meant to go places, and to those places i shall go. rather we, because where i go, Gee goes, as i have fervently stated before. *does cabbage patch* Go Lauren, Go Lauren. LOL. gotta hype myself up sometimes!

now, it's time to play the waiting game; pray, pray, and after you get finished, pray again for me, people! i need & appreciate it more than you know :)

-love a *NERVOUS* elle

autobiography with a side of beans, please.

i've made a couple of references to the personal statement/autobiography that i'm writing for my application. it's only supposed to be 4 - 7 pages; i already have 9 typewritten, double-spaced pages, with 4 more handwritten pages to type. i know, "whoa!" my mama always told me that, once i started writing, my story would just spill out onto the page; i don't know how, but mama always knows best, at least 99.7% of the time. it was like i cut open my literary vein, and the words of my autobiography bled onto the pages of my notebook. even though i had to do a lot of summarizing, it felt so cleansing to talk about some parts of my life in a way that i hadn't really talked about to anyone. if i wrote all the details, i'd have a book with pages numbering in the hundreds. but, for now, all i need is 4 - 7. a few pages to tell the good people of the selection committee about the highlights of my 22-year-old life and how they led me to Student Affairs. the hardest part is deciding what to include and what to omit; trying to paint a wholly realistic portrait of myself without hyping up my "good side", sugar-coating my "bad side", and exaggerating the tough times... jeez, now that i put it that way, it seems an almost impossible task. but just "almost". i can work with that. it used to seem "almost" impossible that my life would continue after having a baby: clearly, i'm still living :) so anywho, back to the autobiography i go... just had to take a little break.

love -elle&gee-

PS: i don't think i'll let Gee eat beans again until she's potty-trained. she had some for lunch, and after our afternoon nap, her diaper EXPLODED. i mean, it's happened before, but it had been awhile. and it was one of those fruity-smelling poop diapers, too. yuck. "beans, beans, the magical fruit..." ya'll know the rest LOL. and did i mention that i got suckered into letting her have her first taste of cake, too? maybe that contributed to the explosion...at least it didn't have frosting on it. :)