this ad popped up on the side of my Facebook, promoting a page called "Proud Single Moms". as i am a single mommy, i clicked on it, interested to see what information it provided. but as i thought about the title, Proud Single Moms, it made me think. i didn't even end up clicking on the page's provided link, because i was too busy pondering this thought: am i really a "proud" single mother? i have to say, my answer to that is "no." i am a proud mother, and i truly do not regret my decision to become a mother. however, i will admit to feelings of shame when i tell people that i have a daughter, and some of them sneak a peek at my ring-less left hand; some will straight up ask if i'm married; and some, knowing i'm not married, just give me that super-duper judgmental look like "oh, you're just another young black girl who got herself knocked up." initially, the shame tries to get the better of me, but then i stop myself and remember: sure, i may be a young black woman who got herself knocked up, but i am also a young black woman with a college degree. i am also a young black woman in the process of starting on another degree. i am a young black single mother who is not always trying to pawn my daughter off on others in order to hit the club and party. i am a young black single mother who, knowing that i would have no partner in my child's father, chose to be a young black single mother because i believe in taking responsibility for my actions, not running away from them or pretending like they didn't happen. i am a young black single mother on a mission to one day be a not-as-young-but-not-old married mother with a fulfilling job, happy relationship, and a fabulous life. what i am NOT is "just another" young black girl who got myself knocked up. i am NOT "just another" anything. i am Gabriela's mother, i am young, i am black, but i refuse to be the stereotype of a statistic. point being, though i may not always be so proud of the way in which i became a mother, i won't let it be a reason for people to doubt me. or for me to doubt myself. while "proud single mom" i am not, i am a proud mother. period. and there ain't no shame in my game when i say that. :)
-love elle&gee-
